It's been a while. Quite awhile. Although I could almost sum of most of my adult life that way. Everything takes time...wait. Wait to find that right, special someone to marry. Wait to get pregnant and start a family. Wait to get sent out to start a church, or take over a church. Wait to go to India. Wait to get back to India. Wait to move. Wait on paychecks that seem to always not come on time. Wait to buy needs for the kids or household. Wait on dinner. Wait on a slow computer. Wait for online orders to arrive. Wait, wait, wait.
It's not been an easy road. Especially with an impatient person like me. I learned long ago to not pray for patience, because the only way it'll come is with waiting, and learning to be patient! Ugh. I'm slightly embarrassed to admit, but it can bring out the worst in me. But ultimately, it all comes to surrendering my will for my Heavenly Father's Will. That, and trusting that He really does love me unconditionally, and wants the best for me, wants to bless me, wants to prepare me to be able to handle any situation that this life brings me. Including a crazy place like India!
As in previously mentioned posts, my husband and I are called to India. And since 2008, we've done almost everything we can to learn as much as we can about this nation that God has called us to. But the one thing we cannot just learn instantly from watching a video and reading books or blogs, is the precious gift of waiting. In a fast-paced, get it now, westernized society, we expect everything NOW! We have instant/fast foods, instant message, instant live streaming, instant video & music downloads, etc. So the one thing God's been preparing us for and testing us in, in these numerous times of wait, is how to....wait.
So, while scanning through my Twitter feed today, I found a tweet by someone in India, with a link, which eventually took me to this blog of an Australian expat who became an Indian housewife. Of course I was immediately (see fast again) interested and started from the beginning of her adventures. Then, I happened upon this one:
http://www.whiteindianhousewife.com/2008/01/readjusting-to-life-in-india/comment-page-1/#comment-66269
While reading this particular post, realization and revelation began to dawn on me! All my years of waiting, surrendering my will (my plans, expectations), trusting Him is in preparation for our call and eventually being missionaries in India.
This is the part that really got me:
"
Again the dreaded western mentality was lurking — I was wanting everything and wanting it immediately. In a country such as India, it’s extremely difficult to control the outcome of anything, and everything takes time! The easiest way forward is acceptance and surrender, as well as appreciation of the concept of impermanence. Given this, these troubled feelings wouldn’t last forever, and neither would I remain in this exact situation.
So, I decided just to trust the universe (I replaced universe with "God") with my dream and the outcome of what’s in store for me. It was also apparent that the more I sat around thinking about what needed to be done, the longer the cloud would hang over my head and continue to overwhelm me. Not only would this affect me, but it would also worry the people around me as well."
Once I read this, I began to cry. The mental light bulb turned "on". And in my heart and mind, God spoke to me. "This is what I've been preparing you for. The years of waiting have been readying you for the country I've called you to. Keep trusting Me daughter." How (obviously) smart our God is! He knows that nothing happens quickly or on-time in India. And if I can learn that here, then I'll be able to handle living in India, at least a little better, lol! ;)
